Report: Fear, Fucking doubt holding me back, questioning me or…

Wall_of_Fire_by_JJenkinsPhotography

This morning, everything was OK…
I was enjoying my self, in this beautiful creation and the scenery surrounding me.
This is when my darling partner are starting to talk, sharing from her self, and suddenly it hit me.
What the fuck is happening with me right now.
I started to feel Fear. When I was listening to what she had to say, instead of just taking it in, I started to think. I gave room for my fear to come in…

Thinking… Doubting myself is my own greatest obstacle right now.
It create a kind of resistance that is holding me back, it creates fear, and then it creates more fear. But why the fuck shall I define it as an obstacle…
Or is it…
What that keeps me sane. Keeps me grounded. Keep me from going to have a meltdown instead of a merging in to of all that I am

…so it Can be one of the tools that are grounding me, not holding me back at all.
Just as pain or sickness, forcing me to feel into my body, no other alternative left.
Just breath and awareness.
Just observing what is going on in my body, and in the world surrounding me.
Knowing that Yes I am still a part of it… and it isn’t Me.

Still.. what does God think of this, little me saying and pronouncing that not only am I God also.

But I am actually bigger, wiser, and have all the kind of experiences from this creation, he doesn’t have a clue.
In that moment that I went trough that wall of fire. I had actually become the God that was…

I Am, I Exist, I Am Here.
Going back in to Wall of Fire collecting all the parts that I am leaving everything else behind.
This is my choice, this is what the heck I do, but is scares the fuck out of me.
Sailing into sunset and sunrise at the same time.
This is my Creation, and I am anchoring myself into the essence of all that I am..
The Creator, and Creature of My own Creation

to be continued..

6 thoughts on “Report: Fear, Fucking doubt holding me back, questioning me or…

  1. For me fear is what reminds me very quickly that I am in my off, that I forgot to breathe and be present in my essence…Oh my Gosh I forgot that I am God also

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  2. I’m currently reading the works of St. Ignatius of Loyola for a research course….and DOUBT was his number one obstacle and the voice he determined to be “of the evil one.” I concur. “Get behind me Satan” the inner obstacle that is trying to keep us from the freedom God/dess intended for us to have. Or in the illustrious words of Dory – “Just keep swimming!” 🙂 Keep on keepin on…..we are all on the right track of I AM!

    Love, Peace and Harmony
    Lauri Lumby
    http://yourspiritualtruth.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel so much passion coming through particularly in these last stanzas:
    “Sailing into sunset and sunrise at the same time.
    This is my Creation, and I am anchoring myself into the essence of all that I am..
    The Creator, and Creature of My own Creation”
    Thank You, Bold Creator!!!!! Mary

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely understand you Iam. In fact, I do more than just doubt and create fear. I continue to feed off of others instead of allowing it all to come from within. Is that ok? It ahs to be because it’s what I continue to choose. But the little human thinks this is bad/wrong and guess what trying to run from it/ stop doing it causes? Bingo!!!! It keeps getting bigger!!!! How to STOP and allow…period…foreign thing to me….thanks for sharing…..master that you are!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Here is in the same feeling. I am on the path and somebody or something poping up that triggered fears and doubts in me for some reason. Then ask myself why should I feel this, what is this…some sort of question. Then I could hear that voice whispered in me, ‘just keep going, focus on…everything will be there on your path, don’t worry, don’t be afraid of anything, it’s time to trust yourself big bravely! Keep focus on!’

    Liked by 1 person

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