This morning, everything was OK…
I was enjoying my self, in this beautiful creation and the scenery surrounding me.
This is when my darling partner are starting to talk, sharing from her self, and suddenly it hit me.
What the fuck is happening with me right now.
I started to feel Fear. When I was listening to what she had to say, instead of just taking it in, I started to think. I gave room for my fear to come in…
Thinking… Doubting myself is my own greatest obstacle right now.
It create a kind of resistance that is holding me back, it creates fear, and then it creates more fear. But why the fuck shall I define it as an obstacle…
Or is it…
What that keeps me sane. Keeps me grounded. Keep me from going to have a meltdown instead of a merging in to of all that I am
…so it Can be one of the tools that are grounding me, not holding me back at all.
Just as pain or sickness, forcing me to feel into my body, no other alternative left.
Just breath and awareness.
Just observing what is going on in my body, and in the world surrounding me.
Knowing that Yes I am still a part of it… and it isn’t Me.
Still.. what does God think of this, little me saying and pronouncing that not only am I God also.
But I am actually bigger, wiser, and have all the kind of experiences from this creation, he doesn’t have a clue.
In that moment that I went trough that wall of fire. I had actually become the God that was…
I Am, I Exist, I Am Here.
Going back in to Wall of Fire collecting all the parts that I am leaving everything else behind.
This is my choice, this is what the heck I do, but is scares the fuck out of me.
Sailing into sunset and sunrise at the same time.
This is my Creation, and I am anchoring myself into the essence of all that I am..
The Creator, and Creature of My own Creation
to be continued..